DREAMWEAVERS MASKS

 Home Page

 

 
  meatball logo

Two bumbling jewel thieves are on the run from the cops when they duck into Chez Monyeu, a restaurant so bad the mice are their only repeat customers.  And that’s just the start of their problems.  Not only has Chez Monyeu’s chef just quit, but the city’s most powerful restaurant critic is about to arrive.  In desperation, the restaurant’s owner, mistaking the thieves for famous French chefs, insist that they make their renowned Million Dollar Meatballs for the tough-minded critic.  Insanity ensues as the pair try to keep up the ruse while hunting for the seven priceless diamonds they lost.  Will the thieves get away with their crime?  Where could the diamonds have gone?  And why are the meatballs so crunchy?  Find out in this deliciously funny farce!

MILLION DOLLAR MEATBALLS
By TODD WALLINGER
CAST OF CHARACTERS
OLIVE PITT ..........................smart-aleck dishwasher; spends more time eating than washing
BORIS STROGANOFF ............gloomy Russian waiter; likes to sneak up on people
GINGER SNAP .....................maddeningly dense busser
GORDON RAMROD ..............world’s second-greatest chef; a hothead and British
SUE DUJOUR ......................owner of the restaurant; permanently flustered
OFFICER SMITH* .................tough cop
OFFICER WESSON* .............another cop; not so tough
BEANS ...............................jewel thief; prefers short words
FRANKIE .............................jewel thief; uses big words, some of which actually exist
HUMPHREY* .......................snarky maître d’; would rather be someplace else
CECIL BLUEBLOOD* ............arrogant restaurant critic
TAMMY TONEDEAF ..............singing telegram girl; annoyingly perky

* These roles may be male or female with simple name and dialogue changes.